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jd_ficathonTitle: A General, an Archeologist and a Chaplain Walk into a Room
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
justhuman
Summary: Jack and Daniel waited out DODT and DOMA. Can they survive premarital counseling.
Word Count: 11,775
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We'd have seen Jack and Daniel married in canon if I owned the Gate franchise. No infringement intended.
Written For:padfootthegrim
Prompt: Humor and an unbreakable marriage ceremony. Optional Request: NC-17. No non-con or OOC Jack or Daniel.
Notes: Many thanks tocatspaw_sgjd for her quick and thoughtful beta. I did some rewriting without her, so as always, it's all my fault
Timeline Note: Don't panic. This fic takes place post-series, post-movies and into SGU, but if you've only seen the first few seasons of SG-1, it'll be fine. Here's some info about SGU.
Stuff happened and a crew of an SGC outpost was transported to the Ancient ship Destiny. The crew is a mix of military and civilians - the IOA is involved. Destiny is really, really far away, and only contact with Earth is through the Homeworld Security Command, which Jack runs. They communicate using the Ancient communication stones - they body swap with volunteers at Homeworld Security. Canon isn't clear on the exact location of Homeworld Security, but I placed it in DC.
A General, an Archeologist and a Chaplain Walk into a Room
Daniel was standing in the shower, head down, back to the spray. Jack stepped in and wrapped an arm around his waist and rubbed cheek against cheek.
"What do you think you're up to, old man?"
"If I'm doing things right, making you late for work," Jack said, gently lifting Daniel's face so they could kiss. Then Jack moved his mouth along Daniel's jaw to the prize of his throat.
With a gentle moan, Daniel said, "You're just trying to steal my hot water, and didn't I wear you out last night?"
"Who's the one that looks worn out this morning? " Jack said, as he twisted around and turned on the faucet on the opposite wall. It started the flow of water from the second showerhead. The two streams met in the middle over here their bodies. For a moment, Jack held his breath as the cold water hit his back, which he used to shield Daniel from the spray. Then as the water warmed up, he relaxed chest-to-chest against Daniel.
"There's another shower," Daniel said, frowning at it curiously.
"Yeah, this place came with the fancy shower, built for two. You haven't noticed it?"
Daniel shook his head.
"You do know that this is your apartment, and you've been living hear for over five years? Also, we did this last time I flew in from DC." Jack slid both arms around Daniel, gently rocking their bodies in the water.
"That was six weeks ago. Besides, it's morning," Daniel said as if this negated any counter argument. "If you're going to be awake and therefore evil in the morning, this whole married thing isn't going to work out."
"Nope. You said yes, so you're stuck with me."
"If you loved me, you'd make me coffee."
"I did make you coffee. I've been up for a while," Jack said, running his hand over Daniel's ass.
Pushing in closer, Daniel said, "I hate you for being awake in the morning, and if you really loved me, you'd have brought me coffee."
"In the shower?"
"You're underestimating my determination and juggling skills." Daniel slid an arm around Jack and rested his head on his partner's shoulder.
"You can juggle? I was counting on you to drop the soap."
Daniel lifted his head and looked at Jack. Jack wiggled his eyebrows. Daniel said, "We'd be late. Besides, you don't like doing that in the shower - differences in height."
"No I don't." Jack backed Daniel against the tiled wall, now warmed from the steamy water. He slid his fingertips up Daniel's thigh and then down his cock.
"Oh, this you like."
"I do," Jack said, kissing Daniel. There was no resistance as Jack slowly slid his tongue past Daniel's lips. He took his time exploring familiar territory, stirring Daniel into wakefulness in more than one way.
Even without caffeine, Daniel's hands began to move, stroking Jack's back and the curves of his ass before sliding between their bodies. His nails racked down Jack's chest and abdomen, working their way down until he cupped Jack's balls. Jack groaned and nipped at Daniel's lower lip with his teeth. He dragged his fingers up the length of Daniel's cock and ran his thumb over the head.
Tugging Jack closer, Daniel said, "Come on, Jack, show me how big those hands are, what you can do with those long fingers. Bet you can't do both of us."
With a short laugh, Jack pressed his cock into Daniel's and then wrapped his right hand around them both. Four fingers stroked up and down Daniel's cock while his thumb rode over his own. It wasn't a lot of pressure, not the kind that he could get on his own or Daniel's alone, but it was hot. It was like there was a feedback loop as their dicks slid side by side.
Daniel obviously wanted more, because he pulled Jack in tight and added his own hand to the mix, there was fumbling for a moment and then they synced up. "You're making me late for work, Jack. Get it in gear; I need you to stop holding out on me. Hot water's nice, but I need something to work with. Need you to spill, Jack."
Rough, sexy and demanding, Daniel's voice always went straight to Jack's cock. With the way Daniel took over, Jack had to wonder if this was his idea at all. He slid his free hand behind Daniel's neck and pulled him into a quick kiss before dropping his mouth to Daniel's throat. "Keep talking, Daniel."
"Missed you, missed you so fucking much. I hate that you're on the other side of the country. But now I've got you here, and you better pick up the pace and show me how much you missed me. Want you to fucking come, Jack."
Dutifully, Jack moved his hand faster as he mouthed Daniel's shoulder. Daniel matched his rhythm. With his free hand, Daniel reached between them, working the head of Jack's cock with his thumb and forefinger while their hands pistoned up and down both shafts.
Daniel's voice was dark and heavy in his ear. "Jack, and you're going to come for me right now. Then when I'm coming all over you, you're going to know how much I own you're ass. You're going to stop depriving me of my property and move in, so I can fuck you every morning in this shower."
"You could just- Christ, Daniel! You could just walk in and take over my place in DC, make me pay to remodel bathroom."
Jack's hips bucked, and his hands flew to either side of Daniel to brace against the tile. A whimpering sound escaped his throat as he bit down on Daniel's shoulder. Daniel's hand was wrapped firm around Jack's cock, pumping out his orgasm.
When he was spent, Daniel stroked his back for a moment and then coaxed him to raise his head. There was more than lust in Daniel's eyes. There was a hint of amusement, but it was overshadowed by pure affection. Jack kissed him, because what else could he have done?
Daniel turned them while they kissed, pressing Jack against the wall before he took a half a step back and pumped his cock, slick with Jack's come. Jack tried to find the words - any words –to encourage his partner, but before he could get anything out, Daniel's come was hitting him in the chest and stomach. Reaching out, he wrapped both arms around Daniel, cradling him through his climax.
"I've got you, never letting you go," Jack said as Daniel raked his fingers over Jack's chest, smearing his come everywhere. "You're so damn hot."
"Mmmm, I love this, being with you. You're right, by the way." They rocked gently between the sprays of the hot shower.
"I'm sorry, did you just say I was right about something?" Jack asked. "You're moving to DC?"
"Nope. I was agreeing, that being messy is so much better if you start in the shower." A rumble started in Daniel's throat and coursed through their bodies. "That's why we should live here, next to the Mountain and not in DC. I've got a better shower."
"How silly of me to think that job obligations should come before plumbing in deciding where we'll live," Jack said. "We can argue about this later, right?"
"We've got the rest of our lives to argue about it," Daniel agreed and pulled far enough back that he could kiss Jack.
After a minute or two, Jack gave Daniel's ass a light slap. "Come on, time to wash up. I'm making you late for work."
***
"Daniel Jackson. O'Neill," Teal'c said with a nod from his seat in the officer's mess. Next to him, Sam began to stand.
"Oh, at ease, Carter," Jack waved a hand at Sam as he put down his tray and slid into the seat across from her.
Daniel took the seat next to him, nodding at the table's occupants. The casual brush of arms and legs as the sat down seemed to take on a whole new meaning to Daniel. They could actually do this, appear to be together, in public, in the SGC. Well not too together because it was a military installation and Daniel's workplace, but no one was going to bring anyone up on charges if Daniel's knee rested next to Jack's, so he let it.
Sam picked up her coffee mug. "Sorry we started without you, but we expected you earlier."
"Yeah," Daniel said, trying to find the polite response. "Jack came in from DC late, so we were just running a little late this morning."
"And we had fantastic sex," Jack said, shoveling a forkful of pancakes into his mouth.
Daniel squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, both Sam and Teal'c were avoiding his gaze.
"Boy, I know when to step into a conversation," Cam Mitchell said as he pulled up a chair form another table and sat in backwards. "General, I could be wrong, but that might, and I only say might, constitute TMI."
"Go ahead, join us, Mitchell," Jack said and then inclined a head towards Daniel, "What's TMI?"
"Too much- you know what TMI is. It's what you just said, out loud." Daniel was about to go on, but he could see victory written all over Jack's face. He was being played.
"Oh, that we had great morning sex-" Jack checked his watch. "Ninety minutes ago."
"Sir," Sam said, tilting her head to the side. "I can't speak for every one, but this may be a bit more over-sharing than -"
"Look!" Jack said, putting both hands on the table. "I've got about a decade of over-sharing that I've been keeping pent up inside. I think I should get to share now that the US Military has agreed that I am not a threat to good order and discipline."
Sam blinked, Mitchell put a hand over his mouth, and Teal'c remained impassive. Daniel just sat back and smiled.
"Jack," Daniel said.
Jack raised an eyebrow at him and gave him that half-smile. Someone that didn't know Jack would possibly label it as thoughtful inquiry, but it didn't fool Daniel at all.
"Jack, on those forms we just filled out, exactly how did you respond the questions about discussing marital information?"
"Hey, I didn't give any details, like what you did -"
"Jack!"
"Forms? Questions? Is someone's quizzing you on marriage?" Cam asked. "If they are, what happens if you fail?"
Daniel could feel his natural annoyance with the military rise. "The Air Force is having us do a premarital inventory. As to what will happen if we fail… Jack, what will happen if we fail?"
Jack picked up his coffee. "We'll still get married. We'll probably end up divorced, but we'll get married."
"Life with you is so reassuring," Daniel said, picking up his own coffee.
Cam lifted a finger and got as far as 'uhm,' when Sam jumped in.
"It's not uncommon is for couples that are about to marry to do a premarital inventory. It asks some basic questions about how you communicate and what you expect out of marriage. Religious institutions have been doing it since the 1970s. The statistics say they can reduce the divorce rate."
"From what I remember from Pre-Cana, that's the Catholic version, it doesn't prevent divorce. It gets people fighting so much that they don't get married or hold off until they can agree on stuff. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I don't remember it fondly at all," Jack said.
"You're not Catholic," Daniel pointed out.
"Not exactly. My dad's family was Chicago Irish, all of them Catholic. I spent my summers with my Lutheran grandparents in Minnesota. I have to say that the Lutherans win out in the you're going to hell category; whereas, the Catholics are the run away winners in the you've got to be kidding me category." Jack said with a shrug. "I didn't actually take to either of them, and my time here has explained why."
"So you did the whole premarital quiz with your first marriage?" Cam asked.
Jack nodded. "Sara was Catholic, so we went that way. Although looking at the forms, they don’t' seem to have changed much."
"So you two are getting married Catholic, and the Air Force gave you Catholic forms." Cam sounded confused.
"Have pigs started flying?" Daniel answered. His tone sounded harsh even to him. Then after considering the circumstances he realized it wasn't at all.
"Daniel, have a little respect," Jack said. "You keep saying things like that and the next thing you know someone will be walking through the Gate talking about porcine aerobatics." Jack frowned. "Porcine? Porcinious?"
"You were right the first time," Daniel said.
"Just keep that response handy; it will improve our marital communication immensely."
"I'll keep that in mind." Daniel glared at him in a way that he hoped would melt Jack into the floor, but it didn't seem to work. Then he turned to Cam. "We've decided to go with a civil ceremony, assuming that we can remain civil to one another. The Air Force is making us do the forms."
"I don't get it. I know bunches of people that have gotten married, and the Air Force didn't care until they started claiming dependent benefits," Cam said.
"They were probably all marrying US citizens," Sam said.
"And women," Jack added.
"Teal'c and I had to go through a version of this," Sam said.
"Because I am a foreign national," Teal'c said as he sat a little straighter.
Daniel wasn't sure why Teal'c was looking proud of that fact, but he supposed it was better that than Teal'c being offended by it and going after some official with a staff weapon.
Sam continued. "And when a member of the US Military marries someone outside the US, there are checks that are done, primarily background investigations and security checks."
"I'd have loved to have been there when the investigator tried to interview your 3rd grade math teacher," Cam said to Teal'c.
Jack stepped in. "To be fair, since I've faced this headache as a commanding officer. Sometimes you see a situation where people should think about slowing down. For instance, the eighteen-year old fresh off the farm that wants to marry someone he's known for a week. They have to ask for permission to marry and you don't exactly deny them. You just give them extra homework, like premarital counseling, to buy time and see if they come to their senses."
Daniel turned to him. "Should I assume that the person that wants us to come to our senses has at least four stars?"
"Yup, but he only wants me to come to my senses. You're a civilian and don't count." Daniel felt Jack's knee bump into his.
Daniel frowned at Teal'c and Sam. "General Landry made you two go through that when you wanted to get married?"
"It was not General Landry," Teal'c said.
Sam nodded. "It was some overblown paper pusher from the Pentagon."
Cam and Daniel both stared at Jack while Sam's eyes grew three sizes too big.
"Not that everyone from the Pentagon is an overblown paper pusher," Sam said.
"It wasn't me!" Jack said, pointing the fingers of both hands at his chest. "And most of them are overblown paper pushers."
"In the end, it wasn't that painful," Sam said.
"Indeed, it afforded Samantha and I an opportunity to discuss matters that we had not considered."
"They even customized the process for our circumstances. There were prompts to discuss the dangerous nature of our missions and questions tailored to consider inter-planetary culture and customs," Sam said. "The Air Force even brought in a counselor that was read-in to the Stargate program, so we could discuss things that would otherwise be classified."
"It still sounds like a lot of work," Cam said. "You two have known each other for more than ten years."
"This is true; however, many questions of marital life do not enter into everyday conversation," Teal'c said. "For instance, who should wash the dishes?"
"Or whether the Chan-ha'dar is right for your marriage."
Daniel looked at the couple across from him and coughed into his napkin. Jack looked at him waiting for an explanation. "That would fall in the "not applicable" category for our relationship."
Jack nodded, "Because neither of us is Jaffa."
"Because neither of us has the right body parts," Daniel corrected.
"Oh," Mitchell said, "That custom."
"Which we concluded would not be necessary," Teal'c said very quickly with a wary eye on Sam.
Sam planted her elbows on the table and smugly sipped her coffee.
Daniel turned his head to look at Jack. "Our forms didn't seem anything like that."
"Well, like you said, missing the right body parts," Cam said.
"No," Daniel shook his head. "I mean there was nothing about being turned into an android or having parasites take over your brain. It seemed like you could have downloaded it off the internet."
Jack leaned back in his chair. "I hit some snags when I was arranging things, so we're going to take a different approach than Sam and Teal'c. Just a little bit different."
"Jack," Daniel said. "I once heard you describe a nuclear warhead as being a little bit different than a block of C4. Exactly how different will our process be?"
"Well…"
"Jack!"
"Okay, we've got less than two weeks before we get married, right?"
"Right."
"I called the same guy that did the whole counseling thing for Carter and Teal'c. He said he was booked."
"For a Brigadier General he couldn't make the time?" Sam asked.
"It seems like you should have been able to find the time in his schedule for him, General," Cam commented.
"Well apparently he was doing work for a general with even more stars than me." Jack didn't disguise his sarcasm.
"They were hoping you'd come to your senses and were stalling you; they were stalling us," Daniel said, getting even more annoyed with the military. "So much for the Log Cabin Republicans vs. the US, ending "Don't Ask." So much for Massachusetts v. Health and Human Services, which took down DOMA."
Jack frowned and held up a hand that was no doubt intended to stay any immediate response. "Keeping in mind that I'm on your side, now, always and especially when naked, I think that General four-star is coming at our marriage from a different angle."
"Like what?" demanded Daniel.
"Like what is the press going to do when they find out that one of the first gay marriages in the US Air Force is of a three-star general that oversees a very expensive top secret military project. And that he's marrying a government contractor that was once directly supervised by said gay general. The Air Force would prefer that we, as in you and me specifically, would wait until things were more routine."
"Routine - gay marriage in the US military - hell, gay marriage anywhere in the US? It might take decades for that to happen!"
Jack sat up and smiled. "Like I said, I'm on your side. That's why we're taking an alternate path in our premarital counseling." He crunched a piece of bacon. "Instead of getting the fancy forms and the special guy, we're gonna be just like anyone else in the Air Force. I got the forms from the base chaplain over at Peterson, and he's holding marriage prep class at 1100. By the end of the day, we'll have fulfilled all the unreasonable demands."
Cam raised a finger. "Marriage prep class at Peterson Air Force Base."
"It's only an hour from here," Jack said.
"Yeah, I'm not question your ability to get to class on time. I'm just thinking that you'll have a lot of regular Air Force personnel - mechanics, cooks and their civilian significant others. Very few security clearances, at least on your level, let alone special ops experience," Cam said.
"Let alone a same-sex spouse?" Jack challenged.
"General, I was not going there. I just think you might run into problems talking openly. It's about time that the military got its head out of its ass about this, and I'm looking forward to attending the wedding," Cam said.
Jack turned to Daniel. "We invited him to the wedding? I thought we were keeping it to family."
Out of the corner of his eyes, Daniel could see Sam putting her forehead into the palm of her hand and Mitchell looking like someone had taken away his pony. "He is family, Jack. He's one of my teammates."
Jack made a face.
"Guy who saved all of our asses in Antarctica. Same guy you picked to lead SG-1."
"All right, he can come." Jack said lifting his hands in surrender.
"Thanks, sir," Cam said, not exactly sounding flattered.
"Hey, it's nothing personal," Jack said. "But these things have a way of growing out of proportion. We invite our former team members and the next thing you know it's your current team."
"We did invite his current team," Daniel said.
"We did?"
"Vala was getting an invite even if I did spend half a month convincing her that there would be no bridesmaids. It seemed natural to invite Sheppard and McKay," Daniel said.
"Inviting McKay seemed natural?" Jack asked.
"Well…" Daniel started but didn't finish, realizing Jack had a point.
"Rodney isn't that bad," Sam said.
Everyone looked at Sam.
"Once you put some alcohol into him," Sam amended.
Jack stood up. "There's going to be a lot of alcohol in all of us before that day is done. In the meantime, General Carter's got to run the SGC, Teal'c probably has to negotiate with someone, and Mitchell's got a galaxy to save. Come on, Daniel, we're going to be late."
Daniel frowned at his watch. "I think we're going to be two hours early."
"I'm sure we can find some way to put that time to good use." Jack waggled his eyebrows.
***
"I'm Chaplain Mark Grossman, welcome to this marriage preparation class. It looks like we're missing some attendees, so I'll go through the introduction while we wait for them. Like all military chaplains, I've had training to help council those outside my own religious affiliation, which is Methodist if you're curious."
"And if you're not religiously affiliated?" Daniel asked.
Grossman turned towards Daniel and blinked. "That's an excellent question, Mr. -?"
"Doctor. Dr. Daniel Jackson."
"Ah, Dr. Jackson, you were a last minute addition to this class. Welcome. As to your question, religion is only one issue that arises in marriage. As such, our forms were designed to address religion in general terms - to uncover differences of opinion that you and your future spouse may have regarding religious choices for your marriage and family life."
Grossman took a breath and went on. "We won't be discussing specific religious doctrines as a group. As I said, I can try and help couples discuss specific questions of faith, but I encourage everyone to seek out their respective clergy for their advice."
"Thank you, Chaplain," Daniel said and settled back into his desk chair. They were sitting in the type of student desks that Daniel remembered from high school and college -metal legs, plastic seat with a place for books underneath and an attached desktop. The desks were set up in a loose half-circle around the room with a total of eight couples. As bland as the room was, it was a step up from the Mountain, because there were some windows high on the walls, allowing in the light. It also opened directly on the grounds, so at least on their breaks, Daniel would be able to get some air.
Peterson Air Force Base was the home of the 21st Space Command, NORAD and unofficially, the SGC. In fact, the cover stories of most people in the SGC had them associated with the 21st Space Command. The work of NORAD and the SGC occurred in Cheyenne Mountain; about 20 miles on the other side of Colorado Springs, but both commands had "public" offices and dependent housing at Peterson along with all the other support structures that weren't part of the Mountain.
Grossman nodded and continued. "I'd also like to introduce Chaplain Lynch, who will be assisting us today when we break out into more one-on-one work." On the far end of the room, Lynch raised a hand to acknowledge the greeting and then went back to some paperwork on the desk.
"As I was just explaining, today we'll be going through the premarital inventories that I hope that you've all filled out on your own. They will be an important tool…"
As Chaplain Grossman continued to drone, Jack leaned over to Daniel and whispered in a low tone, "Why are we here?"
Daniel only half-glared at Jack, trying not to encourage him.
"…The Government of the United States has recognized that the emotional well-being of off-duty personnel can have a direct impact on job performance…"
"Ya think?" Jack commented to Daniel.
Daniel gently shook his head.
"These concerns are especially important for personnel that man critical posts, have high priority skill sets, or high security clearances."
"Doesn't sound like us at all," Jack shook his head.
Daniel scratched at the back of his neck and didn't look at Jack.
"Therefore were are undertaking this exercise to assist in the transition that you are all about to undertake. It is not only in the interest of good order and discipline, but overall morale."
Daniel snorted and then tried go cover it with a cough. Everyone turned to look at him. Jack maintained the bland but stern look that had helped him be promoted to general, but he smiled at Daniel with his eyes.
Daniel quickly offered, "I apologize. I just have allergies. Please continue."
"Dr. Jackson, you're not the first person to have doubts about this process, but my experience in this arena tells me that you and the lady next to you will obtain some insights that will hopefully lead to improved communications."
Jack was obviously fighting a smile, as Daniel turned away from him and to the first sergeant on his left. The very confused woman turned towards Daniel. Finally Jack said, "He's with me, and believe me, Chaplain, we take this process seriously."
There were several open mouths and Jack was apparently just as content to let them writhe in the wind. Frankly, so was Daniel, but he whispered to Jack. "You didn't tell him we were gay?"
"Nah," Jack whispered back.
"With you. So you're together?" Grossman asked. Daniel could tell the Chaplain was dealing with his first gay couple. At least he didn't look offended.
"Yes," Jack said. "Please, carry on."
Grossman stood a little straighter. "Yes, General. So that means our head count is correct. I just misinterpreted your e-mail, general and had the impression… Well, it doesn't matter what impression I had, because the details are now obvious, yes?"
No one said anything, but several people were pretending not to be staring at Jack and Daniel.
"Yes, that must be it," Grossman said, answering his own inquiry. "If everyone could take out their forms, we'll begin at the beginning. The first section has to do with how to choose a life partner. As I go through the questions, I'd like you to compare your answers to your fiance's. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. What we're attempting to do is open a dialog in those areas where you may have disagreements about your upcoming marriage."
There was a shuffle of bags and portfolios as everyone pulled out their forms. Daniel was glad that they were more fill-in-the blank and not bubble forms set up for No. 2 pencils. That allowed him to jot a snarky comment or two in the margins.
What he hadn't anticipated were the lengthy notes in the margins of Jack's form. It was all in Jack's scrawl, so he couldn't immediately make anything out, but Jack had actually written things. Jack never wrote anything unless he had to. Hell, now that Jack had an aide, he sometimes dictated things, so he wouldn't have to actually write them. This conveyed to Daniel a seriousness on Jack's part that Daniel hadn't poured into his own form. Suddenly, he was really hoping that he didn't piss Jack off.
Grossman said, "Undoubtedly there will be questions on which you both have very different opinions. Our process will be to go through a handful of questions and then I'll allow you and your future spouse some time to discuss your feelings on the topics. Later on in the day, we'll be breaking into smaller groups so everyone has a chance to hear opinions from outside their marriage. Please remember to be respectful, as not everyone will have the same expectations. Yes?
Grossman looked around the room. A few nodded, but most just stared back. "Yes!" he said definitively and went on. "Question 1a. There should not be a great difference in age between marriage partners. You have five choices, Strongly Agree, Somewhat Agree, Not Sure, Somewhat Disagree and Strongly Disagree."
From the other side of the room, a young sergeant had raised his hand, "Sir, what defines a great difference in age?" Grossman thought that was a very good question indeed, and started some long-winded explanation.
Daniel looked down at their papers and noted that both he and Jack had chosen 'Seriously Disagree' on the five-point sliding scale of the quiz. They smiled at each other as Jack jotted a +2 next to the question.
"Are you going to keep score?"
"Uh-huh. Two points for every thing we match exactly on and then we subtract one for every place we're apart. So if you had put down 'Somewhat Disagree' we'd have scored one and if you'd had gone off the deep end to the other side of the scale it would have been minus two."
"What happens if we get a negative score?" Daniel asked.
Jack shrugged. "I don’t know, typical day for us."
Daniel was about to question if scoring was really in the spirit of the exercise, but Grossman was already reading off the second question.
"1B. A couple facing marriage should get advice from their parents regarding the new couples' hopes and plans."
Daniel had answered 'Not Sure.' Since he had lost his parents at a young age, it was an impossible thing for him to do. On his form, Jack had answered, 'Strongly Disagree.'
Jack scored them zero. "I don't want to know if you have a way of consulting with your parents."
"I put down 'Not Sure' because it's really not applicable to us. But since were' talking about it, just because we can't do doesn't mean I think it was a bad idea. Think about how much you've valued the opinions of people older than you, like General Hammond."
"Hmm," Jack looked at him thoughtfully. "Didn't consider it that way. People like Bra'tac."
Daniel shrugged. "General Hammond, Bra'tac, Oma Desala."
"Ah, now that you put it that way." Jack drew a strong line under the zero in their score column to emphasize it.
Daniel should have known better than to bring up Oma, but before he could argue further, the next question was being read.
"1c. In selecting a marriage partner an important question to ask is 'Will this marriage increase my love for God?'"
Daniel noted that they earned their two points back with matching 'Strongly Disagrees.' He pointed at the Yeah, right! that he had written on his own paper. Jack pointed at the beginning of long comment on his paper.
Is there something lower than Strongly Disagree? Seriously, those words don't even begin to describe how this kind of question is not an issue, now or ever. I mean, really? People who haven't faced -
There was a black smudge on the paper. Daniel pointed to it with the tip of his pen.
Jack shrugged. "Redacted."
Daniel marveled for a second on how that word had become part of Jack's everyday vocabulary, but then read on.
I mean, really? People who haven't faced XXXXXXX religious extremism actually care if getting married is going to get in the way of going to church or temple or whatever? E-mail said that this wasn't a particularly religious form. My XXX.
Daniel smiled at Jack with love in his heart.
"1d. A good way to determine the character of a prospective husband is to consider his relationship with his mother."
They had split just like they had on the other question that involved deceased parents, putting them back at zero. Daniel considered this a good sign that they weren't negative already considering how many times they'd nearly shouted down the walls of the SGC with their disagreements.
"1e. Every wife-" Grossman spun around and looked at Jack and Daniel. Jack waved like they had just met on the street. "I'm sorry, gentlemen. I hadn't taken into consideration that the forms would have - I hope that you substituted 'spouse' for the role specific words, uhm, in the places that would work."
"I did," Daniel said.
"I didn't," Jack said. "And hello, '1e. Every wife should be trained in some business whereby, if necessary, she could earn a living.' I mean what century are we living in? First Sergeant Ashton, what do you do for a living?"
The woman who had been mistaken for Daniel's fiancee sat a little straighter. "Sir, I support the mission of NORAD as a specialist in data analysis, sir."
"Which means you're in charge of making sure that no one bombs us. Grossman, do you think it's fair to ask her something like that?"
"Sir, as I tried to explain, everyone has different expectations. This question would normally reveal if the couple has differing views on a woman's role in the family."
Ashton frowned at her fiance's form. "What's the 'Strongly Disagree' about?"
"It doesn't mean anything. I was just trying to say that if a woman wanted to be a full time mom, that would be good too," he said.
"How fast were you planning on having kids?" she demanded.
"Wait!" Grossman shouted so loudly that Daniel felt himself leaning back.
Grossman glanced around the room and to Daniel, didn't seem entirely confident in the situation. "I - " he took a breath and got his minister demeanor back. "I apologize to everyone for shouting. General, again, I'd like to apologize for not thinking ahead to give you and Dr. Jackson a questionnaire better geared to your relationship. But I have to ask you to consider that not everyone in the room will have your expectations for marriage. That there will be couples across the entire spectrum expecting more traditional or more modern gender roles."
Jack was looking at Daniel, seeking advice. Daniel cleared his throat. "For the record, I think that question should be rephrased from wife to both spouses or my spouse. However, I've had some experience with this before. I'm a widower. I had met my wife in -" Daniel cleared his throat. "In as remote a place as you can imagine. The important point is that her village had very specific gender roles that I was expected to adopt in order to marry her and live in the village. That's probably not the compromise I would have struck, if I had met her in Colorado Springs, but I understand what you're saying about different expectations."
Jack pursed his lips for a second and nodded. "Sorry." And then under his breath added, "I guess."
With a small sigh of relief, Grossman turned back towards the rest of the room. "This discussion has illustrated why this process is a valuable tool. The General and Dr. Jackson obviously had a similar same response to the question. Sergeant Ashton and Mr. Worth have opened up a topic that probably needs more discussion. Yes?"
Heads nodded around the room and Grossman let out another sigh. "Good, then we can move on unless there are any questions?" A hand shot up on the other side of the room and the reverend pointed at one of the civilian women. "Yes! Miss…"
"Gloria Ross," she replied. Then she looked passed Grossman right at Daniel and asked, "You were married to a woman?"
Daniel didn't care for the total disbelief in the woman's voice, but it wasn't like it was the first time his bisexuality was questioned. Hell, he'd been questioned more by homosexuals than heterosexuals.
Grossman's mouth was hanging open.
Daniel ignored him. "Yes, I was. I went to -" He caught himself before he said 'another planet.' "I met an amazingly intelligent and brave woman, and fell immediately in love." It still made his heart ache to talk about Sha're but at least the raw burning pain that he had felt for years had faded. Perhaps it wasn't strange, that it faded more as Jack gently stroked Daniel's arm with his hand.
Jack nodded. "You sure did; I was there." This was usually the place where Jack would insert a joke about Daniel's fumbled honeymoon, but not today. The room was staring at them again. Hell, it wasn't like the average person saw gay people on TV, let alone physically expressing affection in a public place. Let 'em get used to it, Daniel thought.
"Dr. Jackson, I'm sorry for your loss. If I can ask, how long has she been gone?"
"About nine years."
"You still miss her that much?" asked an airman from the middle of the room.
Before Daniel could say anything, Jack squeezed Daniel's arm, shook his head and gave a short laugh. "Most of you look pretty young. How many of you are getting married for the first time?"
All but one person raised his or her hand.
"Right," Jack said. "Unless your one of those crazy celebrities that stay married for twenty-four hours at a shot, marriage kinda sticks with you. I've been divorced for over eleven years, and I still think about my ex-wife sometimes."
"You were married too?" a new voice exclaimed.
Jack's shoulders pulled up around his ears as he extended his hands, Grossman finally found his voice. "Everyone, please. There are aspects of your relationships that you will want to share with the group, but let's refrain from quizzing one another. General and Dr. Jackson, I have to apologize to you once again. I should have provided you with questions designed for couples that are re-marrying."
"We'll manage," Daniel said.
Grossman looked to the back of the room where another pair of couples was coming in. "Everyone, these are the Pulaskis and Lincolns. Combined, they have been married for over forty years. They have graciously agreed to share their stories of how they've reached compromises and how they've learned to work with differing expectations over their many years."
Grossman looked to the paper with the list of questions and then to the room. "Usually the Pulaskis and Lincolns will listen to us review the questionnaires before we break into groups, but since we've been having a lively discussion about the questions today, maybe we should move straight into groups, yes?"
Clapping his hand, Grossman said an emphatic, "Yes! I'd like to break into two discussion groups. If we could have brides on one side and grooms-" As he said the words, Grossman caught sight of Jack and Daniel again. He dragged his hand over his face.
Continued Here
Author:
justhumanSummary: Jack and Daniel waited out DODT and DOMA. Can they survive premarital counseling.
Word Count: 11,775
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We'd have seen Jack and Daniel married in canon if I owned the Gate franchise. No infringement intended.
Written For:
padfootthegrimPrompt: Humor and an unbreakable marriage ceremony. Optional Request: NC-17. No non-con or OOC Jack or Daniel.
Notes: Many thanks to
catspaw_sgjd for her quick and thoughtful beta. I did some rewriting without her, so as always, it's all my faultTimeline Note: Don't panic. This fic takes place post-series, post-movies and into SGU, but if you've only seen the first few seasons of SG-1, it'll be fine. Here's some info about SGU.
Stuff happened and a crew of an SGC outpost was transported to the Ancient ship Destiny. The crew is a mix of military and civilians - the IOA is involved. Destiny is really, really far away, and only contact with Earth is through the Homeworld Security Command, which Jack runs. They communicate using the Ancient communication stones - they body swap with volunteers at Homeworld Security. Canon isn't clear on the exact location of Homeworld Security, but I placed it in DC.
A General, an Archeologist and a Chaplain Walk into a Room
Daniel was standing in the shower, head down, back to the spray. Jack stepped in and wrapped an arm around his waist and rubbed cheek against cheek.
"What do you think you're up to, old man?"
"If I'm doing things right, making you late for work," Jack said, gently lifting Daniel's face so they could kiss. Then Jack moved his mouth along Daniel's jaw to the prize of his throat.
With a gentle moan, Daniel said, "You're just trying to steal my hot water, and didn't I wear you out last night?"
"Who's the one that looks worn out this morning? " Jack said, as he twisted around and turned on the faucet on the opposite wall. It started the flow of water from the second showerhead. The two streams met in the middle over here their bodies. For a moment, Jack held his breath as the cold water hit his back, which he used to shield Daniel from the spray. Then as the water warmed up, he relaxed chest-to-chest against Daniel.
"There's another shower," Daniel said, frowning at it curiously.
"Yeah, this place came with the fancy shower, built for two. You haven't noticed it?"
Daniel shook his head.
"You do know that this is your apartment, and you've been living hear for over five years? Also, we did this last time I flew in from DC." Jack slid both arms around Daniel, gently rocking their bodies in the water.
"That was six weeks ago. Besides, it's morning," Daniel said as if this negated any counter argument. "If you're going to be awake and therefore evil in the morning, this whole married thing isn't going to work out."
"Nope. You said yes, so you're stuck with me."
"If you loved me, you'd make me coffee."
"I did make you coffee. I've been up for a while," Jack said, running his hand over Daniel's ass.
Pushing in closer, Daniel said, "I hate you for being awake in the morning, and if you really loved me, you'd have brought me coffee."
"In the shower?"
"You're underestimating my determination and juggling skills." Daniel slid an arm around Jack and rested his head on his partner's shoulder.
"You can juggle? I was counting on you to drop the soap."
Daniel lifted his head and looked at Jack. Jack wiggled his eyebrows. Daniel said, "We'd be late. Besides, you don't like doing that in the shower - differences in height."
"No I don't." Jack backed Daniel against the tiled wall, now warmed from the steamy water. He slid his fingertips up Daniel's thigh and then down his cock.
"Oh, this you like."
"I do," Jack said, kissing Daniel. There was no resistance as Jack slowly slid his tongue past Daniel's lips. He took his time exploring familiar territory, stirring Daniel into wakefulness in more than one way.
Even without caffeine, Daniel's hands began to move, stroking Jack's back and the curves of his ass before sliding between their bodies. His nails racked down Jack's chest and abdomen, working their way down until he cupped Jack's balls. Jack groaned and nipped at Daniel's lower lip with his teeth. He dragged his fingers up the length of Daniel's cock and ran his thumb over the head.
Tugging Jack closer, Daniel said, "Come on, Jack, show me how big those hands are, what you can do with those long fingers. Bet you can't do both of us."
With a short laugh, Jack pressed his cock into Daniel's and then wrapped his right hand around them both. Four fingers stroked up and down Daniel's cock while his thumb rode over his own. It wasn't a lot of pressure, not the kind that he could get on his own or Daniel's alone, but it was hot. It was like there was a feedback loop as their dicks slid side by side.
Daniel obviously wanted more, because he pulled Jack in tight and added his own hand to the mix, there was fumbling for a moment and then they synced up. "You're making me late for work, Jack. Get it in gear; I need you to stop holding out on me. Hot water's nice, but I need something to work with. Need you to spill, Jack."
Rough, sexy and demanding, Daniel's voice always went straight to Jack's cock. With the way Daniel took over, Jack had to wonder if this was his idea at all. He slid his free hand behind Daniel's neck and pulled him into a quick kiss before dropping his mouth to Daniel's throat. "Keep talking, Daniel."
"Missed you, missed you so fucking much. I hate that you're on the other side of the country. But now I've got you here, and you better pick up the pace and show me how much you missed me. Want you to fucking come, Jack."
Dutifully, Jack moved his hand faster as he mouthed Daniel's shoulder. Daniel matched his rhythm. With his free hand, Daniel reached between them, working the head of Jack's cock with his thumb and forefinger while their hands pistoned up and down both shafts.
Daniel's voice was dark and heavy in his ear. "Jack, and you're going to come for me right now. Then when I'm coming all over you, you're going to know how much I own you're ass. You're going to stop depriving me of my property and move in, so I can fuck you every morning in this shower."
"You could just- Christ, Daniel! You could just walk in and take over my place in DC, make me pay to remodel bathroom."
Jack's hips bucked, and his hands flew to either side of Daniel to brace against the tile. A whimpering sound escaped his throat as he bit down on Daniel's shoulder. Daniel's hand was wrapped firm around Jack's cock, pumping out his orgasm.
When he was spent, Daniel stroked his back for a moment and then coaxed him to raise his head. There was more than lust in Daniel's eyes. There was a hint of amusement, but it was overshadowed by pure affection. Jack kissed him, because what else could he have done?
Daniel turned them while they kissed, pressing Jack against the wall before he took a half a step back and pumped his cock, slick with Jack's come. Jack tried to find the words - any words –to encourage his partner, but before he could get anything out, Daniel's come was hitting him in the chest and stomach. Reaching out, he wrapped both arms around Daniel, cradling him through his climax.
"I've got you, never letting you go," Jack said as Daniel raked his fingers over Jack's chest, smearing his come everywhere. "You're so damn hot."
"Mmmm, I love this, being with you. You're right, by the way." They rocked gently between the sprays of the hot shower.
"I'm sorry, did you just say I was right about something?" Jack asked. "You're moving to DC?"
"Nope. I was agreeing, that being messy is so much better if you start in the shower." A rumble started in Daniel's throat and coursed through their bodies. "That's why we should live here, next to the Mountain and not in DC. I've got a better shower."
"How silly of me to think that job obligations should come before plumbing in deciding where we'll live," Jack said. "We can argue about this later, right?"
"We've got the rest of our lives to argue about it," Daniel agreed and pulled far enough back that he could kiss Jack.
After a minute or two, Jack gave Daniel's ass a light slap. "Come on, time to wash up. I'm making you late for work."
***
"Daniel Jackson. O'Neill," Teal'c said with a nod from his seat in the officer's mess. Next to him, Sam began to stand.
"Oh, at ease, Carter," Jack waved a hand at Sam as he put down his tray and slid into the seat across from her.
Daniel took the seat next to him, nodding at the table's occupants. The casual brush of arms and legs as the sat down seemed to take on a whole new meaning to Daniel. They could actually do this, appear to be together, in public, in the SGC. Well not too together because it was a military installation and Daniel's workplace, but no one was going to bring anyone up on charges if Daniel's knee rested next to Jack's, so he let it.
Sam picked up her coffee mug. "Sorry we started without you, but we expected you earlier."
"Yeah," Daniel said, trying to find the polite response. "Jack came in from DC late, so we were just running a little late this morning."
"And we had fantastic sex," Jack said, shoveling a forkful of pancakes into his mouth.
Daniel squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, both Sam and Teal'c were avoiding his gaze.
"Boy, I know when to step into a conversation," Cam Mitchell said as he pulled up a chair form another table and sat in backwards. "General, I could be wrong, but that might, and I only say might, constitute TMI."
"Go ahead, join us, Mitchell," Jack said and then inclined a head towards Daniel, "What's TMI?"
"Too much- you know what TMI is. It's what you just said, out loud." Daniel was about to go on, but he could see victory written all over Jack's face. He was being played.
"Oh, that we had great morning sex-" Jack checked his watch. "Ninety minutes ago."
"Sir," Sam said, tilting her head to the side. "I can't speak for every one, but this may be a bit more over-sharing than -"
"Look!" Jack said, putting both hands on the table. "I've got about a decade of over-sharing that I've been keeping pent up inside. I think I should get to share now that the US Military has agreed that I am not a threat to good order and discipline."
Sam blinked, Mitchell put a hand over his mouth, and Teal'c remained impassive. Daniel just sat back and smiled.
"Jack," Daniel said.
Jack raised an eyebrow at him and gave him that half-smile. Someone that didn't know Jack would possibly label it as thoughtful inquiry, but it didn't fool Daniel at all.
"Jack, on those forms we just filled out, exactly how did you respond the questions about discussing marital information?"
"Hey, I didn't give any details, like what you did -"
"Jack!"
"Forms? Questions? Is someone's quizzing you on marriage?" Cam asked. "If they are, what happens if you fail?"
Daniel could feel his natural annoyance with the military rise. "The Air Force is having us do a premarital inventory. As to what will happen if we fail… Jack, what will happen if we fail?"
Jack picked up his coffee. "We'll still get married. We'll probably end up divorced, but we'll get married."
"Life with you is so reassuring," Daniel said, picking up his own coffee.
Cam lifted a finger and got as far as 'uhm,' when Sam jumped in.
"It's not uncommon is for couples that are about to marry to do a premarital inventory. It asks some basic questions about how you communicate and what you expect out of marriage. Religious institutions have been doing it since the 1970s. The statistics say they can reduce the divorce rate."
"From what I remember from Pre-Cana, that's the Catholic version, it doesn't prevent divorce. It gets people fighting so much that they don't get married or hold off until they can agree on stuff. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I don't remember it fondly at all," Jack said.
"You're not Catholic," Daniel pointed out.
"Not exactly. My dad's family was Chicago Irish, all of them Catholic. I spent my summers with my Lutheran grandparents in Minnesota. I have to say that the Lutherans win out in the you're going to hell category; whereas, the Catholics are the run away winners in the you've got to be kidding me category." Jack said with a shrug. "I didn't actually take to either of them, and my time here has explained why."
"So you did the whole premarital quiz with your first marriage?" Cam asked.
Jack nodded. "Sara was Catholic, so we went that way. Although looking at the forms, they don’t' seem to have changed much."
"So you two are getting married Catholic, and the Air Force gave you Catholic forms." Cam sounded confused.
"Have pigs started flying?" Daniel answered. His tone sounded harsh even to him. Then after considering the circumstances he realized it wasn't at all.
"Daniel, have a little respect," Jack said. "You keep saying things like that and the next thing you know someone will be walking through the Gate talking about porcine aerobatics." Jack frowned. "Porcine? Porcinious?"
"You were right the first time," Daniel said.
"Just keep that response handy; it will improve our marital communication immensely."
"I'll keep that in mind." Daniel glared at him in a way that he hoped would melt Jack into the floor, but it didn't seem to work. Then he turned to Cam. "We've decided to go with a civil ceremony, assuming that we can remain civil to one another. The Air Force is making us do the forms."
"I don't get it. I know bunches of people that have gotten married, and the Air Force didn't care until they started claiming dependent benefits," Cam said.
"They were probably all marrying US citizens," Sam said.
"And women," Jack added.
"Teal'c and I had to go through a version of this," Sam said.
"Because I am a foreign national," Teal'c said as he sat a little straighter.
Daniel wasn't sure why Teal'c was looking proud of that fact, but he supposed it was better that than Teal'c being offended by it and going after some official with a staff weapon.
Sam continued. "And when a member of the US Military marries someone outside the US, there are checks that are done, primarily background investigations and security checks."
"I'd have loved to have been there when the investigator tried to interview your 3rd grade math teacher," Cam said to Teal'c.
Jack stepped in. "To be fair, since I've faced this headache as a commanding officer. Sometimes you see a situation where people should think about slowing down. For instance, the eighteen-year old fresh off the farm that wants to marry someone he's known for a week. They have to ask for permission to marry and you don't exactly deny them. You just give them extra homework, like premarital counseling, to buy time and see if they come to their senses."
Daniel turned to him. "Should I assume that the person that wants us to come to our senses has at least four stars?"
"Yup, but he only wants me to come to my senses. You're a civilian and don't count." Daniel felt Jack's knee bump into his.
Daniel frowned at Teal'c and Sam. "General Landry made you two go through that when you wanted to get married?"
"It was not General Landry," Teal'c said.
Sam nodded. "It was some overblown paper pusher from the Pentagon."
Cam and Daniel both stared at Jack while Sam's eyes grew three sizes too big.
"Not that everyone from the Pentagon is an overblown paper pusher," Sam said.
"It wasn't me!" Jack said, pointing the fingers of both hands at his chest. "And most of them are overblown paper pushers."
"In the end, it wasn't that painful," Sam said.
"Indeed, it afforded Samantha and I an opportunity to discuss matters that we had not considered."
"They even customized the process for our circumstances. There were prompts to discuss the dangerous nature of our missions and questions tailored to consider inter-planetary culture and customs," Sam said. "The Air Force even brought in a counselor that was read-in to the Stargate program, so we could discuss things that would otherwise be classified."
"It still sounds like a lot of work," Cam said. "You two have known each other for more than ten years."
"This is true; however, many questions of marital life do not enter into everyday conversation," Teal'c said. "For instance, who should wash the dishes?"
"Or whether the Chan-ha'dar is right for your marriage."
Daniel looked at the couple across from him and coughed into his napkin. Jack looked at him waiting for an explanation. "That would fall in the "not applicable" category for our relationship."
Jack nodded, "Because neither of us is Jaffa."
"Because neither of us has the right body parts," Daniel corrected.
"Oh," Mitchell said, "That custom."
"Which we concluded would not be necessary," Teal'c said very quickly with a wary eye on Sam.
Sam planted her elbows on the table and smugly sipped her coffee.
Daniel turned his head to look at Jack. "Our forms didn't seem anything like that."
"Well, like you said, missing the right body parts," Cam said.
"No," Daniel shook his head. "I mean there was nothing about being turned into an android or having parasites take over your brain. It seemed like you could have downloaded it off the internet."
Jack leaned back in his chair. "I hit some snags when I was arranging things, so we're going to take a different approach than Sam and Teal'c. Just a little bit different."
"Jack," Daniel said. "I once heard you describe a nuclear warhead as being a little bit different than a block of C4. Exactly how different will our process be?"
"Well…"
"Jack!"
"Okay, we've got less than two weeks before we get married, right?"
"Right."
"I called the same guy that did the whole counseling thing for Carter and Teal'c. He said he was booked."
"For a Brigadier General he couldn't make the time?" Sam asked.
"It seems like you should have been able to find the time in his schedule for him, General," Cam commented.
"Well apparently he was doing work for a general with even more stars than me." Jack didn't disguise his sarcasm.
"They were hoping you'd come to your senses and were stalling you; they were stalling us," Daniel said, getting even more annoyed with the military. "So much for the Log Cabin Republicans vs. the US, ending "Don't Ask." So much for Massachusetts v. Health and Human Services, which took down DOMA."
Jack frowned and held up a hand that was no doubt intended to stay any immediate response. "Keeping in mind that I'm on your side, now, always and especially when naked, I think that General four-star is coming at our marriage from a different angle."
"Like what?" demanded Daniel.
"Like what is the press going to do when they find out that one of the first gay marriages in the US Air Force is of a three-star general that oversees a very expensive top secret military project. And that he's marrying a government contractor that was once directly supervised by said gay general. The Air Force would prefer that we, as in you and me specifically, would wait until things were more routine."
"Routine - gay marriage in the US military - hell, gay marriage anywhere in the US? It might take decades for that to happen!"
Jack sat up and smiled. "Like I said, I'm on your side. That's why we're taking an alternate path in our premarital counseling." He crunched a piece of bacon. "Instead of getting the fancy forms and the special guy, we're gonna be just like anyone else in the Air Force. I got the forms from the base chaplain over at Peterson, and he's holding marriage prep class at 1100. By the end of the day, we'll have fulfilled all the unreasonable demands."
Cam raised a finger. "Marriage prep class at Peterson Air Force Base."
"It's only an hour from here," Jack said.
"Yeah, I'm not question your ability to get to class on time. I'm just thinking that you'll have a lot of regular Air Force personnel - mechanics, cooks and their civilian significant others. Very few security clearances, at least on your level, let alone special ops experience," Cam said.
"Let alone a same-sex spouse?" Jack challenged.
"General, I was not going there. I just think you might run into problems talking openly. It's about time that the military got its head out of its ass about this, and I'm looking forward to attending the wedding," Cam said.
Jack turned to Daniel. "We invited him to the wedding? I thought we were keeping it to family."
Out of the corner of his eyes, Daniel could see Sam putting her forehead into the palm of her hand and Mitchell looking like someone had taken away his pony. "He is family, Jack. He's one of my teammates."
Jack made a face.
"Guy who saved all of our asses in Antarctica. Same guy you picked to lead SG-1."
"All right, he can come." Jack said lifting his hands in surrender.
"Thanks, sir," Cam said, not exactly sounding flattered.
"Hey, it's nothing personal," Jack said. "But these things have a way of growing out of proportion. We invite our former team members and the next thing you know it's your current team."
"We did invite his current team," Daniel said.
"We did?"
"Vala was getting an invite even if I did spend half a month convincing her that there would be no bridesmaids. It seemed natural to invite Sheppard and McKay," Daniel said.
"Inviting McKay seemed natural?" Jack asked.
"Well…" Daniel started but didn't finish, realizing Jack had a point.
"Rodney isn't that bad," Sam said.
Everyone looked at Sam.
"Once you put some alcohol into him," Sam amended.
Jack stood up. "There's going to be a lot of alcohol in all of us before that day is done. In the meantime, General Carter's got to run the SGC, Teal'c probably has to negotiate with someone, and Mitchell's got a galaxy to save. Come on, Daniel, we're going to be late."
Daniel frowned at his watch. "I think we're going to be two hours early."
"I'm sure we can find some way to put that time to good use." Jack waggled his eyebrows.
***
"I'm Chaplain Mark Grossman, welcome to this marriage preparation class. It looks like we're missing some attendees, so I'll go through the introduction while we wait for them. Like all military chaplains, I've had training to help council those outside my own religious affiliation, which is Methodist if you're curious."
"And if you're not religiously affiliated?" Daniel asked.
Grossman turned towards Daniel and blinked. "That's an excellent question, Mr. -?"
"Doctor. Dr. Daniel Jackson."
"Ah, Dr. Jackson, you were a last minute addition to this class. Welcome. As to your question, religion is only one issue that arises in marriage. As such, our forms were designed to address religion in general terms - to uncover differences of opinion that you and your future spouse may have regarding religious choices for your marriage and family life."
Grossman took a breath and went on. "We won't be discussing specific religious doctrines as a group. As I said, I can try and help couples discuss specific questions of faith, but I encourage everyone to seek out their respective clergy for their advice."
"Thank you, Chaplain," Daniel said and settled back into his desk chair. They were sitting in the type of student desks that Daniel remembered from high school and college -metal legs, plastic seat with a place for books underneath and an attached desktop. The desks were set up in a loose half-circle around the room with a total of eight couples. As bland as the room was, it was a step up from the Mountain, because there were some windows high on the walls, allowing in the light. It also opened directly on the grounds, so at least on their breaks, Daniel would be able to get some air.
Peterson Air Force Base was the home of the 21st Space Command, NORAD and unofficially, the SGC. In fact, the cover stories of most people in the SGC had them associated with the 21st Space Command. The work of NORAD and the SGC occurred in Cheyenne Mountain; about 20 miles on the other side of Colorado Springs, but both commands had "public" offices and dependent housing at Peterson along with all the other support structures that weren't part of the Mountain.
Grossman nodded and continued. "I'd also like to introduce Chaplain Lynch, who will be assisting us today when we break out into more one-on-one work." On the far end of the room, Lynch raised a hand to acknowledge the greeting and then went back to some paperwork on the desk.
"As I was just explaining, today we'll be going through the premarital inventories that I hope that you've all filled out on your own. They will be an important tool…"
As Chaplain Grossman continued to drone, Jack leaned over to Daniel and whispered in a low tone, "Why are we here?"
Daniel only half-glared at Jack, trying not to encourage him.
"…The Government of the United States has recognized that the emotional well-being of off-duty personnel can have a direct impact on job performance…"
"Ya think?" Jack commented to Daniel.
Daniel gently shook his head.
"These concerns are especially important for personnel that man critical posts, have high priority skill sets, or high security clearances."
"Doesn't sound like us at all," Jack shook his head.
Daniel scratched at the back of his neck and didn't look at Jack.
"Therefore were are undertaking this exercise to assist in the transition that you are all about to undertake. It is not only in the interest of good order and discipline, but overall morale."
Daniel snorted and then tried go cover it with a cough. Everyone turned to look at him. Jack maintained the bland but stern look that had helped him be promoted to general, but he smiled at Daniel with his eyes.
Daniel quickly offered, "I apologize. I just have allergies. Please continue."
"Dr. Jackson, you're not the first person to have doubts about this process, but my experience in this arena tells me that you and the lady next to you will obtain some insights that will hopefully lead to improved communications."
Jack was obviously fighting a smile, as Daniel turned away from him and to the first sergeant on his left. The very confused woman turned towards Daniel. Finally Jack said, "He's with me, and believe me, Chaplain, we take this process seriously."
There were several open mouths and Jack was apparently just as content to let them writhe in the wind. Frankly, so was Daniel, but he whispered to Jack. "You didn't tell him we were gay?"
"Nah," Jack whispered back.
"With you. So you're together?" Grossman asked. Daniel could tell the Chaplain was dealing with his first gay couple. At least he didn't look offended.
"Yes," Jack said. "Please, carry on."
Grossman stood a little straighter. "Yes, General. So that means our head count is correct. I just misinterpreted your e-mail, general and had the impression… Well, it doesn't matter what impression I had, because the details are now obvious, yes?"
No one said anything, but several people were pretending not to be staring at Jack and Daniel.
"Yes, that must be it," Grossman said, answering his own inquiry. "If everyone could take out their forms, we'll begin at the beginning. The first section has to do with how to choose a life partner. As I go through the questions, I'd like you to compare your answers to your fiance's. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. What we're attempting to do is open a dialog in those areas where you may have disagreements about your upcoming marriage."
There was a shuffle of bags and portfolios as everyone pulled out their forms. Daniel was glad that they were more fill-in-the blank and not bubble forms set up for No. 2 pencils. That allowed him to jot a snarky comment or two in the margins.
What he hadn't anticipated were the lengthy notes in the margins of Jack's form. It was all in Jack's scrawl, so he couldn't immediately make anything out, but Jack had actually written things. Jack never wrote anything unless he had to. Hell, now that Jack had an aide, he sometimes dictated things, so he wouldn't have to actually write them. This conveyed to Daniel a seriousness on Jack's part that Daniel hadn't poured into his own form. Suddenly, he was really hoping that he didn't piss Jack off.
Grossman said, "Undoubtedly there will be questions on which you both have very different opinions. Our process will be to go through a handful of questions and then I'll allow you and your future spouse some time to discuss your feelings on the topics. Later on in the day, we'll be breaking into smaller groups so everyone has a chance to hear opinions from outside their marriage. Please remember to be respectful, as not everyone will have the same expectations. Yes?
Grossman looked around the room. A few nodded, but most just stared back. "Yes!" he said definitively and went on. "Question 1a. There should not be a great difference in age between marriage partners. You have five choices, Strongly Agree, Somewhat Agree, Not Sure, Somewhat Disagree and Strongly Disagree."
From the other side of the room, a young sergeant had raised his hand, "Sir, what defines a great difference in age?" Grossman thought that was a very good question indeed, and started some long-winded explanation.
Daniel looked down at their papers and noted that both he and Jack had chosen 'Seriously Disagree' on the five-point sliding scale of the quiz. They smiled at each other as Jack jotted a +2 next to the question.
"Are you going to keep score?"
"Uh-huh. Two points for every thing we match exactly on and then we subtract one for every place we're apart. So if you had put down 'Somewhat Disagree' we'd have scored one and if you'd had gone off the deep end to the other side of the scale it would have been minus two."
"What happens if we get a negative score?" Daniel asked.
Jack shrugged. "I don’t know, typical day for us."
Daniel was about to question if scoring was really in the spirit of the exercise, but Grossman was already reading off the second question.
"1B. A couple facing marriage should get advice from their parents regarding the new couples' hopes and plans."
Daniel had answered 'Not Sure.' Since he had lost his parents at a young age, it was an impossible thing for him to do. On his form, Jack had answered, 'Strongly Disagree.'
Jack scored them zero. "I don't want to know if you have a way of consulting with your parents."
"I put down 'Not Sure' because it's really not applicable to us. But since were' talking about it, just because we can't do doesn't mean I think it was a bad idea. Think about how much you've valued the opinions of people older than you, like General Hammond."
"Hmm," Jack looked at him thoughtfully. "Didn't consider it that way. People like Bra'tac."
Daniel shrugged. "General Hammond, Bra'tac, Oma Desala."
"Ah, now that you put it that way." Jack drew a strong line under the zero in their score column to emphasize it.
Daniel should have known better than to bring up Oma, but before he could argue further, the next question was being read.
"1c. In selecting a marriage partner an important question to ask is 'Will this marriage increase my love for God?'"
Daniel noted that they earned their two points back with matching 'Strongly Disagrees.' He pointed at the Yeah, right! that he had written on his own paper. Jack pointed at the beginning of long comment on his paper.
Is there something lower than Strongly Disagree? Seriously, those words don't even begin to describe how this kind of question is not an issue, now or ever. I mean, really? People who haven't faced -
There was a black smudge on the paper. Daniel pointed to it with the tip of his pen.
Jack shrugged. "Redacted."
Daniel marveled for a second on how that word had become part of Jack's everyday vocabulary, but then read on.
I mean, really? People who haven't faced XXXXXXX religious extremism actually care if getting married is going to get in the way of going to church or temple or whatever? E-mail said that this wasn't a particularly religious form. My XXX.
Daniel smiled at Jack with love in his heart.
"1d. A good way to determine the character of a prospective husband is to consider his relationship with his mother."
They had split just like they had on the other question that involved deceased parents, putting them back at zero. Daniel considered this a good sign that they weren't negative already considering how many times they'd nearly shouted down the walls of the SGC with their disagreements.
"1e. Every wife-" Grossman spun around and looked at Jack and Daniel. Jack waved like they had just met on the street. "I'm sorry, gentlemen. I hadn't taken into consideration that the forms would have - I hope that you substituted 'spouse' for the role specific words, uhm, in the places that would work."
"I did," Daniel said.
"I didn't," Jack said. "And hello, '1e. Every wife should be trained in some business whereby, if necessary, she could earn a living.' I mean what century are we living in? First Sergeant Ashton, what do you do for a living?"
The woman who had been mistaken for Daniel's fiancee sat a little straighter. "Sir, I support the mission of NORAD as a specialist in data analysis, sir."
"Which means you're in charge of making sure that no one bombs us. Grossman, do you think it's fair to ask her something like that?"
"Sir, as I tried to explain, everyone has different expectations. This question would normally reveal if the couple has differing views on a woman's role in the family."
Ashton frowned at her fiance's form. "What's the 'Strongly Disagree' about?"
"It doesn't mean anything. I was just trying to say that if a woman wanted to be a full time mom, that would be good too," he said.
"How fast were you planning on having kids?" she demanded.
"Wait!" Grossman shouted so loudly that Daniel felt himself leaning back.
Grossman glanced around the room and to Daniel, didn't seem entirely confident in the situation. "I - " he took a breath and got his minister demeanor back. "I apologize to everyone for shouting. General, again, I'd like to apologize for not thinking ahead to give you and Dr. Jackson a questionnaire better geared to your relationship. But I have to ask you to consider that not everyone in the room will have your expectations for marriage. That there will be couples across the entire spectrum expecting more traditional or more modern gender roles."
Jack was looking at Daniel, seeking advice. Daniel cleared his throat. "For the record, I think that question should be rephrased from wife to both spouses or my spouse. However, I've had some experience with this before. I'm a widower. I had met my wife in -" Daniel cleared his throat. "In as remote a place as you can imagine. The important point is that her village had very specific gender roles that I was expected to adopt in order to marry her and live in the village. That's probably not the compromise I would have struck, if I had met her in Colorado Springs, but I understand what you're saying about different expectations."
Jack pursed his lips for a second and nodded. "Sorry." And then under his breath added, "I guess."
With a small sigh of relief, Grossman turned back towards the rest of the room. "This discussion has illustrated why this process is a valuable tool. The General and Dr. Jackson obviously had a similar same response to the question. Sergeant Ashton and Mr. Worth have opened up a topic that probably needs more discussion. Yes?"
Heads nodded around the room and Grossman let out another sigh. "Good, then we can move on unless there are any questions?" A hand shot up on the other side of the room and the reverend pointed at one of the civilian women. "Yes! Miss…"
"Gloria Ross," she replied. Then she looked passed Grossman right at Daniel and asked, "You were married to a woman?"
Daniel didn't care for the total disbelief in the woman's voice, but it wasn't like it was the first time his bisexuality was questioned. Hell, he'd been questioned more by homosexuals than heterosexuals.
Grossman's mouth was hanging open.
Daniel ignored him. "Yes, I was. I went to -" He caught himself before he said 'another planet.' "I met an amazingly intelligent and brave woman, and fell immediately in love." It still made his heart ache to talk about Sha're but at least the raw burning pain that he had felt for years had faded. Perhaps it wasn't strange, that it faded more as Jack gently stroked Daniel's arm with his hand.
Jack nodded. "You sure did; I was there." This was usually the place where Jack would insert a joke about Daniel's fumbled honeymoon, but not today. The room was staring at them again. Hell, it wasn't like the average person saw gay people on TV, let alone physically expressing affection in a public place. Let 'em get used to it, Daniel thought.
"Dr. Jackson, I'm sorry for your loss. If I can ask, how long has she been gone?"
"About nine years."
"You still miss her that much?" asked an airman from the middle of the room.
Before Daniel could say anything, Jack squeezed Daniel's arm, shook his head and gave a short laugh. "Most of you look pretty young. How many of you are getting married for the first time?"
All but one person raised his or her hand.
"Right," Jack said. "Unless your one of those crazy celebrities that stay married for twenty-four hours at a shot, marriage kinda sticks with you. I've been divorced for over eleven years, and I still think about my ex-wife sometimes."
"You were married too?" a new voice exclaimed.
Jack's shoulders pulled up around his ears as he extended his hands, Grossman finally found his voice. "Everyone, please. There are aspects of your relationships that you will want to share with the group, but let's refrain from quizzing one another. General and Dr. Jackson, I have to apologize to you once again. I should have provided you with questions designed for couples that are re-marrying."
"We'll manage," Daniel said.
Grossman looked to the back of the room where another pair of couples was coming in. "Everyone, these are the Pulaskis and Lincolns. Combined, they have been married for over forty years. They have graciously agreed to share their stories of how they've reached compromises and how they've learned to work with differing expectations over their many years."
Grossman looked to the paper with the list of questions and then to the room. "Usually the Pulaskis and Lincolns will listen to us review the questionnaires before we break into groups, but since we've been having a lively discussion about the questions today, maybe we should move straight into groups, yes?"
Clapping his hand, Grossman said an emphatic, "Yes! I'd like to break into two discussion groups. If we could have brides on one side and grooms-" As he said the words, Grossman caught sight of Jack and Daniel again. He dragged his hand over his face.
Continued Here
